peter parker saves u uwu
by sad artist
Summary: well, this is for 16 so dont read it if ur not, it includes self harm and suicide attemps, and also gross kissing. thats- thats it.


_**This is a TW (trigger warning) this story includes self harm, depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts. btw you are my oc, river. this story is narrating the reader, which is referred to as river by other characters. also lots of gross kissing .**_

"Hey River, are you okay? you eyes are red. Have you been crying?" peter asked you, slightly concerned.

"oh, no i'm fine i just had itchy eyes and i rubbed them a lot..." you lied to him. You cried all the time, and you're a nervous wreck today. You started doing it again. your mum called you an embarrassment and you sliced your wrist with your blade. You were anxious in case it started bleeding again. It was deeper than last time. deeper than all the other times. you were referred to counselling. you knew you needed it, but you could never open yourself up like that. You feel like you're drowning. pretty ironic because your name is River, but you feel lonely and lost. useless, but only ever "happy" when you're with peter. You say "happy" because you know you're not actually happy. there is a difference between happiness and distraction from sadness. your crush was the only thing you had. and music, of course. You look at your phone and realise you're late for class. You run to you class with peter, dragging by the hand. When you arrive there, you blow hair from out of your face and apologize for the both of you for being late. you still got detention on wednesday after school. "Oh, miss, can we please arrange for a different time? im busy everyday after school, is there any way we can do it at lunch or anything?" he asked. he glanced at you then back at the teacher. You gaze at his beautiful eyes. You didnt realise the teacher was talking to you. "Hey, don't ignore me! i asked you a question? hello? earth to River!" you snap back into it and look at her confused. "sorry, what was the question again?" you say slowly looking from peter to her.

"Can you come to detention this lunch time?"

"uhh, yes, i can." You reply, stuttering a bit.

"good, now sit down. we've already wasted an extra 5 minutes."

You sit down next to peter when he sees a little bit of a red line from the back of your wrist. Your head is resting on the other one. Your eyes widen as he talks. you look at him. "Oh, its nothing, i just drew on my arm with a red pen."

Peter looked at you then back at your arm. he suddenly pushes your sleeves up and sees your arm, revealing your arm completely covered in scars and cuts. You punch him on the arm and pull them back down quickly. 'Stop!' you whisper-shout at him. a tear forms in your eye but you wipe it away. You look back at the teacher. In the corner of your eye you see peter still looking at your sleeve, shocked and confused. He opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to talk. You sigh looking down. After a while, the bell rung and it was time for break. You rush out of the classroom but peter catches up. He grabs your hand and you turn your head to him, while struggling to get him to let you go. You manage to yank your hand out of his and turn to him completely. you looks down with red cheeks and start to cry. By now, all the other students were outside. You wipe tears from your cheek but more keep pouring down you face. You put your hands in the pockets of your hoodie. 'River... why would you do th-' 'Its really none of your business.' you cut him off. You try to move a strand of hair behind you ear, but accidentally nudge a small tin box out of your pocket. it falls onto the floor, opening up and blades of all different shapes and sized fall out of it. You eyes widen as you look down at the floor in front of you covered in blades with dried blood on all of them.

"River, is this what you used to do that to your arm?" he says stepping forward slightly pointing to your arm. You quickly neal down and pick up as many as you can. when you're convinced you had them all in the box, you look at your not cut up finger tips. you stand back up and shove the tin back into your pocket, pulling up your hood and speed walking away. He steps back after you left and picks up a blade that he stepped on, hiding it under his shoe.

You jog over to the exit and slow down to a walk when you get outside. its spitting slightly. You shake your head and put your headphones on and play your gorillaz playlist. The song fills your ears as you loosen up a bit and head to the park. You weren't allowed out of school property until after school, but you didn't care. your crush just found out that you self harm, then you told him to mind his own business. You roll your eyes. this was possibly the biggest mistake you've ever made. You are looking down at the floor trying to avoid getting rain in your face. You feel a presence behind you and turn around, leaning on one hip. you look at him with one eye raised. "what? why are you following me?" you asked with a kind of annoyed tone.

"i need to know why. why would yo- why?" he asked again.

"Its none of your buisne-"

"no. that isn't an answer. it is absolutely my business!" he says walking closer. The rain starts pouring down on you. He steps closer towards you. he droops his head just above yours. you look up at him. he wraps his arms around you and looks up, hugging you. you lift your hand up and wipe a tear from your face. he pushes you hood back down and you both look back at each other. he leans closer to you. you hesitate, before rising to you tippy toes and kissing him for a moment. You realise what just happened was real, and your heart beat gets suddenly faster. your eyes widen. your blood is pumping fast. you start to feel light headed. you let go of his soft lips and try to stand properly, but your legs feel weak. you push the sleeves up of both your arms, showing him them both covered in scars, burns and bruises. you shiver in the cold.

All of a sudden, you see a bright light coming towards you. a car was speeding on the road, swiveling from the road to the walkway. You gasp and peter grabs your waist and shoots something at a wall, propelling you both onto the side of it. You look down and start crying. "W-what? am i dead? h-how are we..?" you sob slowly looking up at peter.

"You aren't dead, and- i- i'm sorry. that... i didn't tell you, I'm spider-man" he stuttered slowly releasing the web causing him to descend holding you.

out of all the shock and worries, you mutter "i guess we both have our secrets." You sigh a white breath of cold air. the skies are filled with dark grey clouds. You hug him and thank him for everything. You cross your arms in the cold and walk away from him. You put one of your hands in your pocket and feel around. you cant find your tin of blades. You look back at him. he's smiling with it in his hand. you run back to him and grab onto his leg, just as he slings up on a web. You scream as you raise higher, near the city. He lifts you up onto the top of a sky scraper, when he eventually gets there. He pulls you up off his leg, onto the edge of the roof. "Look out onto the city" He says looking at you. He walks over to the edge next to it, and sits down with his feet hanging, facing the beach. "Come, sit." He says looking back at you. you look dreamily at him. I just want my tin of blades. i don't know why, i just like to collect them.' you say sitting down next to him. you look back into his beautiful hazel eyes.

he looks back into yours.

you lean in again. He moves a strand of hair on your face and pushes it behind your ear.

you you look down, then back at him.

his hand is still resting on your face.

you look at his soft lips.

you look back into his eyes, getting lost in them.

your adrenalin was raising higher than you thought was possible.

you feel butterflies in your stomach...

and your heart is beating fast.

you close your eyes and lean in as he does the same.

your lips meet.

you twist your head to the left, and he turns his to the right.

after around 5 seconds, you pull away.

you realise that it stopped raining, and the clouds fade away.

you turn your head away

you question reality.

Did you _really_ just kiss your crush _again_? Did he _really_ like you like that? _really_?

you look back at him shocked. you get up with your hand out in front of you. "d-did i do something wrong?" he asks with a weak sounding voice.

"i-i don't deserve you. im sorry, i don't deserve you. you don't deserve someone like me. even I don't like myself, i can't expect anyone else to. im sorry." You say backing away. Your eyes fill with tears as you whisper "Im sorry."

you turn away and start running for the edge edge of the building, where you first came up. You step up onto the raised edge, and look down. You look back at Peter, who is sprinting after you. "RIVER!" he shouts while running.

you look back down and cover your mouth as you cry.

You put one of your legs up in front of you.

before peter manages to reach you with his hand, you step forward and fall.

You manage to turn yourself up to look at him. He shoots a web at your hand as you are falling.

you try to loosen your hand from the grip as you suddenly stop falling.

"Stop! let go-o" you sob while trying to yell.

He pulls you up as you try to push the web off of your wrist. 'Stop! please...' you cry when he pulls you up closer. "I don't deserve you!" you say, pushing your feet against the bottom of the ledge.

"You're better off without me." You struggle more, but he manages to pull you up and wraps his arm around your waist.

He shoots a web at the bottom of the ledge and lowers you both down.

your eyes still filled with tears, you ask "why?"

'because you are worth everything to you, and i dont deserve you. you are amazing, and i like you a lot. I might even... l-.. nevermind' he replies shaking his head.

You look up at him and smile. "I like you a lot. I can hear you saying nice things about me. I just dont believe them myself." you reply bunching your shoulders up. "but just being with you is enough for me." you say resting your head on his chest and holding tha back of his hand around you waist.

You both blush like crazy.


End file.
